Week #11 – Mindset (with Kendra Burrows) - Rise and Write with Grace & James

Week #11 – Mindset (with Kendra Burrows)

In Episode #11 we interviewed Kendra Burrows — writer, speaker, full-time psychology professor, and MINDSET coach! We covered a lot of ground in our conversation with Kendra, starting with what is mindset, where does it come from, what can we do about it, and HOW can we stop the spiral?!

Overthinking

We all do it, right? Rehash a conversation, replay a chain of events, rewrite again and again to make sure that email or text is super-duper clear.

But there is something about us creatives that take it to the next level! Each of us has our reasons (perfectionism, people pleasing, need for achievement, accolades, or just plain old completion). But no matter the reason — or the root — what we do about it now is what matters.

My biggest take-away from our conversation with Kendra wasn’t necessarily about mindset…it was about the difference between routines and ruts. As an over-thinker and natural procrastinator, I’ve learned to rely on routines to get me going and propel me forward to get things done.

However, when life knocks my routines off track, I get derailed very easily. And then have a hard time recovering.

Almost every person we’ve interviewed so far has mentioned the need for flexibility with their routines. Jobs, clients, parishoners, partners, drop-in adult children, and free range babies — all contribute to the day-to-day interruptions (and even delays) of life as we envision it, as we want it, as we dream for it to be.

So mindset, as it turns out, isn’t just about how we talk to ourselves — it’s what we do with that talk. How we act reinforces the thought. And taking action lets our brain know we mean business!

“In the end, none of that matters except the action that you are taking today…at some point, you just need to act!”

What are you telling yourself lately?

In addition to mindset and routines, we talked about:

00:00 – INTRODUCTON – we introduce Kendra and jump right in to what is mindset and what’s so hard about it?
00:47 – WHAT IS MINDSET – the things that we think to ourselves that enable us to do something; Kendra gives us the example of two groups of housekeepers that are given different approaches to their job
02:42 – DOMINO EFFECT – Jim asks about the domino effect and how an improved mindset may have affected other decisions in their lives
04:24 – WHAT ARE YOU WORKING ON – I ask Kendra what she is currently working on, and how mindset plays a role; Kendra tells us about her e-book and how it addresses the “Seven Biggest Lies We Tell Ourselves” and what to do about it;
05:43 – THE UPSIDE OF STRESS – Kendra tells us about a book she’s reading that digs into “stress” and how it varies, and even benefits us, in certain circumstances.
8:32 – PINNACLE OF CONTROL – Kendra digs into the lie that once we reach some place with no setbacks and no disappointments, we’ll have control; rather than asking ourselves, how is this hurting me? Ask, how is this helping me?
10:44 – MINDSET – I ask Kendra where does mindset come from, what can we do about it, and does any of that matter? In Kendra’s view, what’s more important is how you can change your thoughts and what you can do today to move forward.
13:18 – PATHWAYS – Jim asks about brain chemicals, those pesky neuropathways, and if we can change them; short answer: yes, you can train yourself to stick to a new path!
16:00 – COMMON THEMES – I ask Kendra who is coming to her for help and what are the common themes;
19:40 – WHAT WILL PEOPLE SAY – Kendra reminds us that if we don’t put work out there, we won’t get to hear the positive things people might say also.
20:46 – ROUTINES – Jim asks Kendra about her morning routine and what she does to put herself in a positive mindset; (and this is where Kendra talks about the importance of flexibility).
22:00 – RESET – Kendra shares her technique for resetting when her routines get derailed;
22:47 – STOP THE SPIRAL – I ask Kendra what she does to stop the spiral of negative thoughts once it starts; once again, Kendra mentions the importance of flexibility in her schedule and gives some other tips for engaging with the part of our brain/body that is signaling the spiral
24:51 – TALKING BACK TO OUR BRAIN – Kendra confides in us she has named that annoying voice in her head! Rather than fight it, acknowledge it and keep moving.
27:00 – THE “I’LL NEVERS” – Jim asks how to deal with those all-encompassing “I’ll never…” thoughts; Kendra gives us some tips to soften the edges of those thoughts…and reminds us that “your brain hears what you’re saying, and it believes you.” (It also knows when you are lying.)
31:00 – TOXIC POSITIVITY – I ask Kendra where’s the line between positive mindset and toxic positivity; Kendra also admits she doesn’t necessarily believe in toxic positivity as it takes our power away.
33:47 – FEAR SETTING – Kendra references Tim Ferris’ theory about Fear Setting and how, once again, to acknowledge and soften that fear into something manageable rather than missing out.
38:17 – REPETITIVE THOUGHTS – Grace gives one of her go-to techniques for dealing with repetitive thoughts; and Jim chimes in with his favorite question.
41:02 – THE BIGGEST HURDLE – I ask Kendra what the biggest hurdle to mindset is; surprisingly, it isn’t getting into it…it’s getting out! “In the end, none of that matters except the action that you are taking today…At some point you need to just act.” Also, anticipating the obstacles and creating a plan for overcoming it.
43:55 – THE BEST TIME OF DAY – Kendra shares with us her best time of day for writing; and the reality that it doesn’t always happen.
45:10 – ALL THE LINKS – Kendra shares where we can find her; her free handout; and offers a complimentary 30-minute clarity session to anyone who is listening!
46:30 – COMING SOON — Stay tuned for Kendra’s e-book: Seven Ways You Lie To Yourself (How it Hurts and How to Stop)
46:48 – WRAP UP – Grace and Jim offer their immediate reflections and take-aways; so much to think about!

What about you?

Want to add to the conversation? We would love to talk with you about your experiences with content creating, collaborating, and keeping fun company for the journey! Join us in our private Facebook group where we break these discussions down each week, share tools and techniques, and hold each other accountable to the work we have been called to create.

Because we know it’s hard…we want to talk about how!

Up next: Tune in to our Facebook page tomorrow when we talk with writer, speaker, educator, and restaurant owner Jennifer Bryant!

Until then, set your alarm for whatever time YOU feel most creative and productive, and then…

Rise and Write!
Grace

About Our Guest:

With her Bible in one hand & her advanced psych degree in the other, Kendra Burrows loves to help smart, successful over-thinkers overcome negative thoughts using Scripture and the science of how God made you. Stop by www.kendraburrows.com or follow her on Facebook @KendraSBurrows

As a college instructor and a personal coach, she has a gift for putting people at ease, clearly articulating complex concepts, and asking questions that spur thinking in her students and propel her clients to their next steps.

Stop by www.kendraburrows.com/communicators to grab the free printable, The Truth About the Lies Communicators Believe, along with weekly reassurance and tips to help you minimize your negative thoughts.